The crime scene is our pasture here at Aspen Meadows. It is fenced with 3 rail vinyl fencing. Three of the sides have electrical tape on the inside of the top and bottom rails. The fourth side has chain link fencing attached on the inside with no electrical tape; however, a black wire is buried slightly underground to carry the current from one side to the other. Today I was grooming the pasture, (because I am anal about that), and I discovered the black wire pulled up and some of the chain link bent at the bottom. Being the designated "Pasture Police Officer", I immediately knew that a felony had been committed. Based on several "donkey facts", both Tuffy and Finessa were arrested on suspicion of felony vandalism and placed in stall-a-tary confinement, pending a court trial.
The presiding judge was Jody's Lucky Devil, aka. Flash. With his piercing blues eyes and equine wisdom well beyond his years, nothing can get by him. The defense attorney was none other than the infamous Twistn Turbo Esq., better known as "fast talking Jackson". The lead prosecutor was Kalvin Kline, an attorney with PSG background. A handsome 17h warmblood is he. The jury pool was limited and consisted of 1 cat, 2 dogs, 2 rabbits, and 7 chickens; however, better than most juries found around here.
The trial was swift. The evidence presented by the prosecution was overwhelming: donkey prints by the pulled up black wire; donkey poop along the fence line; and hair strands on the chain link which DNA analysis showed was a 99% match to Tuffy and Finessa. Halfway thru the trial, both Tuffy and Finessa "rolled over", (which they do every day), and pled "no contest". The Honorable Judge Flash pronounced sentencing, ( 1 day more of confinement, but credit for time served), and restitution for the damaged property. If there are no financial means available, then both donkeys shall do "hard labor", with a length of time to be determined at a later date.
Court was adjourned, the jury thanked for their time and effort, and the case was cleared. Or was it?
BREAKING NEWS.........from ENN, (Equine National News). A governor with "donkey lineage" has just commuted the sentencing on both Tuffy and Finessa, stating, "They are such good little donkeys, it's not fair they be incarcerated".
The President of the property, my wife Annette, says I should just go out and buy some 6x6 lumber to put along the bottom of the chain link fence to reinforce the chain link and cover up the black electrical wire, putting an end to the donkey's juvenile delinquency. Or maybe it was my juvenile delinquency she was talking about.
Back to my own private dementia and my compost pile. Pop's out.